Still tired but awake at 6am, I was adjusting slowly to the time difference. I checked my emails on my phone before getting the iPad sorted so I could watch the lunchtime Norwich game away at Charlton. I had no expectations other than another dreary defeat.
Against poor opposition, we actually managed to turn a losing position into a winning one, and at times they even made us look good. Very satisfying, but one swallow does not make a summer and all that.
Moving the iPad around with me meant I could get ready for our grand day out to Key West. I was slightly apprehensive about going, as it meant a total round trip drive of four to five hours in the car, and I knew I was still fighting jet lag. I mentioned this to Karen and promptly wished I hadn’t, as she showed little sympathy. She then failed to understand my annoyance when she then promptly slept for most of the journey there.
We set off at 9.30am and the drive wasn’t too bad. About 98% of it is on the one road running down through the Keys, part of which is known as the Jimmy Buffett Memorial Highway. The only challenge was negotiating the frequently changing speed limits, which were low but sensibly so, with plenty of hidden police cars to keep you honest.
By 11.45am, we were parking in the car park I had found before leaving. It had a rather strange arrangement whereby you had to put your car details and cash in an envelope and post it through a building’s letterbox. It was about four blocks from Duval Street, and the price reflected the extra walk. It cost $15 for the whole day, rather than $7 an hour at a car park slightly closer. We didn’t mind, as it was a lovely temperature and we needed to stretch our legs.
Duval Street on a normal day is much like New Orleans, with its mixture of bars, restaurants, tat shops and a nice buzz about it.
Today, though, it had ramped things up several notches.
Today was Fantasy Fest day.
This is the day when locals and tourists go wild, dressing up as outrageously as they can, simply because they can. We hadn’t known this was happening when we planned our visit. We had read about it yesterday but still didn’t really understand what it was all about.
As soon as we passed the first shop selling ‘costumes’ for the occasion, everything became clear. It meant anything goes.
Amused, we walked south along Duval Street, looking for a normal sort of coffee shop where Karen could get a drink and we could find a toilet. Eventually, we found one at the Black Rifle Coffee Company, which also had some lovely air conditioning.
We walked on and came across a ‘Life is Good’ shop, where we made a couple of purchases from the clearance rack.
At the Southernmost Point marker, which isn’t actually the southernmost point, there was a large queue for photographs. As we have had many photos taken there over the years, and have stayed within walking distance on previous visits, we opted to take ours from alongside the queue. I could then edit anyone else who got into the shot.
We found some benches in the shade overlooking the area and sat down to eat the light lunch we had brought with us. It was all very pleasant, and we even amused at the loud chap on a microphone telling everyone how much Jesus loved us all, although his logic was rather flawed at times.
Then we headed due west, all the way back up Duval Street.
At this point, with some five hours still to go before the parade was due to start, people were already lining the street and sitting on chairs they had brought along to secure their viewing spots.
We also started seeing more and more people in costume, displaying rather more of their bodies than we would ever wish to see.
At first, an old chap wearing little more than a small pouch over his nether regions and some nipple covers was winning the competition for most outrageous outfit. But then it became clear that there were more and more women of all ages and sizes walking past who were completely naked, apart from some quite artistic body paint.
We began seeing women standing in bars and shops having the paint applied. Tourists like us were stopping to take photographs with them, while we walked on, pretending that this sort of thing was a common occurrence on Gentleman’s Walk in Norwich every Saturday.
One bar was even advertising that its artist was using waterproof paint that day. Even that wasn’t enough to persuade Karen to have her body done.
Instead, we had been wondering whether to stay for the sunset ritual in Mallory Square, but decided to leave before things got too mad and we risked having trouble getting back to the car, let alone getting the car out of Key West.
Karen now needed another drink and a toilet stop, so we went into Sloppy Joe’s and managed to get the last available table. As ever, there was already a party atmosphere inside, but we had our drinks, wandered around the retail shop and eventually left without buying Barry a Hemingway shirt.
Just before Mallory Square, we came across a new Kermit’s Key Lime Pie shop. We went in because they were selling Key Lime Dole Whip, which we shared. It was tart and delicious.
Mallory Square itself was deserted as we sat for a while, noticing the changes since our last visit in 2015. It felt much hotter than the advertised 26°C.
At that point, we decided to make our way back to the car, stopping at the original Kermit’s shop on the way to buy some Key Lime cookies.
I had hardly started the drive back when Karen wanted to stop on the outskirts of Key West for a cold coffee. She was convinced the place would have a fantastic sea view. It didn’t, as the view was blocked by a hedge, so she enjoyed her drink while I restarted the drive.
We had decided that we could still just make it to Anne’s Beach before dark. This was another place we used to visit, but it had been destroyed by a hurricane on a previous trip.
It has since been tastefully and very well restored, except that today there was no beach.
We had been warned that even low tide would be much higher than a normal high tide, and indeed it was. There was no beach at all, and the steps down to it led straight into about two feet of water. Instead, we walked along the new boardwalk, which was quite lovely.
For dinner tonight, we had decided on a Domino’s takeaway. However, my phone wouldn’t let me access the US Domino’s website, so we ended up ordering it in person when we got there. It was cooked very quickly, which was fortunate and we only had a five-minute drive back to the apartment.
We ate it while watching an old episode of Beyond Paradise on US television, before attempting to watch the last episode of the current series of Blue Lights.
Whether it was the complications of who was informing on whom and who was complicit, the driving today, or the jet lag, I soon fell asleep on the sofa or the second night running. I abandoned the programme and went to bed at 9.30pm.
I can just about remember getting into bed.
