Long drive moving day meant we didn’t hang around long having breakfast and we were packed and moving for the start of the 253-mile journey by 9.15am.
Three minutes later we had our first stop at the Starbucks Drive through. For the sake of my bladder on the journey I went without as Starbucks tea just goes straight through me. Karen though was very happy with her purchase.
Almost next door was a drive through bank and next to that a drive Krispy Kreme outlet. Then a little further on the same stretch of road was a drive through pharmacy. Have we now got to the stage where Americans want to do everything without getting out of their car? I imagined the next level would be a drive through funeral home where you pass the dearly departed through your car window into perhaps a chute that takes them to be processed. Perhaps I should have had that cup of tea.
The drive was easy enough once we had cleared the traffic. We were in no great hurry, and I just kept up with the traffic moving at just over the speed limit. Yet despite this I was being repeatedly being overtaken with things like fully loaded car transporters to whom apparently speed limits and not being in the outside lane do not apply.
Karen had a short doze as I drove with the radio tuned to some classic rock station. It was Ok for a while, but I soon grew tired of it. When Karen rejoined me from the land of nod on the journey I switched over to listening to Podcasts. The first was a new Desert Island Discs with Danny Dyer and the last weeks ‘The News Quiz’. Both kept us very amused and entertained.
By now we were both ready for a break. I had looked prior to setting out if there any suitable State Parks to stop in on the route we were travelling but nothing stuck out. Karen decided another Starbucks would be a perfect solution but there didn’t appear to be anywhere close to the Freeway until way past where we were due to turn off. Her caffeine levels obviously needed topping up as this was apparently just another example of my poor planning.
Eventually after one false start we turned off and drove to a McDonalds which we could see from the highway. It was a poor choice. I only spoke to 2 members of staff, both quite young and both lacking front teeth.
Karen had a fillet of fish whilst I had a couple Chicken strips to go with the rolls Karen had made for the journey. We sat and ate the outside on their patio. Karen had ordered some hot tea which they said they bring to her. After lots of looking they eventually concluded they didn’t have any and hadn’t had any for some time. They asked if they could bring her an alternative, so she chose decaf coffee which when it arrived was stone cold and undrinkable. Karen just wanted to move on and could not be fussed to complain again.
We hit the road again all the way to Pigeon Forge with Karen now not in the best frame of mind. The atmosphere in the car worsened when after 4 hours driving, we pulled into our hotel for the next 4 nights. It looked grim from the outside. Our first impression was not improved as we checked in. A more mature lady again without front teeth dealt with us and I could see Karen looking around shaking her head and muttering.
We parked and took our luggage to the external elevator in a courtyard that resembled a prison. It was dark, dingey and looked like it hadn’t been touched for 50 years.
Our room in contrast was large, spotlessly clean and I felt comfortable. OK the large corner bath in the room next to the bed was a surprise as there was also a perfectly good bath and shower in the bathroom.
Once we had closed the door to the outside world Karen let rip and to paraphrase it she asked what on earth possessed me to book such a place. Even I was doubting myself, but I seemed to recall it had the highest scoring reviews of any place we have ever booked. I checked on Hotels.com and I was right. Over 1000 reviews including many in the last month extolling the virtues of it. The only negative comments were about the building looking grim, but people said it didn’t distract from the quality of the rooms or service.
After a while and a cuppa, we decided to take stock of the situation. During the drive I had concluded that we needed to make some changes to the rest of our planned itinerary, as we had some more very long driving days ahead. One of these was the drive back to the airport on the last day. I had discovered yesterday that a bit like Phileas Fogg I had not realised that Tennessee has 2 time zones. This meant our drive to Atlanta would take 4 hours but in actual time be over 5 hours meaning with contingency for we would need to leave rather even earlier than planned. Karen had also questioned before arriving at Pigeon Forge that perhaps we only needed 3 nights here rather than the 4 booked.
A quick replan took place.
We booked a night in Chattanooga to break the journey up to the airport and put us in the right time zone for the remaining journey plus we thought it looked an interesting place
Then when I tried to cancel one of the nights we had booked in Nashville, Hotels.com wanted to charge me £90 extra for staying one less night. I still cannot work that one out and so will take up directly with the hotel when we get there.
We decided to leave Pigeon Forge after 3 nights after bringing forward our trip to Dollywood by one day and will sort this out with reception in the morning. Instead, we will go to Cumberland Gap National Park which we think looks good and stay overnight in Knoxville – Hope you are keeping up as there will be a quiz later. There is another reason we both wanted to go Cumberland Gap which will hopefully become clear later.
So, with that sorted I let Karen decide what we should do now. Her conclusion was to head to Tangier Outlets which were up the road, where there was a Starbucks and have a quick wander around in the late evening sunshine.
As we drove to there, we concluded that Pigeon Forge is a bit of mixture of the 192 and International Drive in Kissimmee. It had the same crazy buildings although most of them seem to be owned by ‘Ripleys’. There was a half size Titanic building housing a museum, an Alcatraz crime building and a large Wonderworks upside house amongst many others. Every few yards seemed to be another mountain coaster or ‘unique’ crazy golf course. Every chain of restaurant also seemed to be represented.
At the outlets we both purchased another hat at Columbia just because we could. We wandered inside a few more shops including one selling ‘Moonshine’ in jam jars. We were tempted to bring some home for the boys but thought it was a disaster waiting to happen in our luggage.
After having a cuppa outside Starbucks, Karen decided that as the Outback was just next door that despite only going to one the previous night that she fancied a steak as not having one that time. I tried really hard not to order steak for myself, but it just came out of my mouth. It was delicious as usual
On the way back Karen suggested we call in Publix to get some things for a picnic lunch the next day in the Great Smoky Mountains. We also purchased a couple of small cartons of wine, and I was delighted to be asked for ID to prove I was over 21! I did point at my rugged features and asked ‘really’, but the very old lady serving said she had to do it.
I then went to get petrol at a BP garage and was harangued by a family of geese whilst filling up. The more I initially tried to shoo them away the move they kept coming. There were more than 12 babies who may have thought I had food. Karen just sat in the car laughing and not offering any help or support.
Back in our room which once we had walked through Cell Block H was not too bad at all we chilled for a while before falling asleep not long after 10.15pm.
